21548 RTW: Untitled

Untitled - Ryan Walton

    I decided to write today not for school, not really for fun, more for a state of well being, to empty my mind onto a page that was barren before my words either redeemed or cursed it. Have you ever had a feeling deep inside yourself that something was missing and you were not quite sure what it was, or maybe you knew what it was but you had no idea how to obtain it? Right now I feel like that, as if something from within me has vanished and though I have been looking I have been able to find not only no trace of where it has gone, but no hint of what it was. I cannot understand this feeling being in my life at this moment, nothing is amiss. Nothing has changed in my life that should affect me in the slightest. At this moment I am an island, no bridge ties me down and should there be a bridge on its way I will not feel its affect until it has started to sink it's base into my shores. I feel like the trees at night, darkness surrounds me so I know nothing of the world that is not me. Others are close by but none touch me, we all dance to the same music, the music of the wind, the music of the night. We all come close to touching the leaves of our limbs almost brushing the next tree's leaves, but at the last second the music changes direction and contact is postponed. It is possible to feel the leaves near by but there is no actual sensation of touching but the hint of a feeling, almost a memory, only before the occurrence of an event. At first the closeness is satisfactory but as time passes it becomes boring, not enough, being human I constantly strive for more then what I should be happy with. Tell me world, how do I achieve what I desire, where can I find at least momentary happiness?